Continuing Saga of Online Dating Part II

Continuing saga of online dating......

It’s 2012; my past love has made it quite clear he didn’t love me back; he hasn’t made one move to talk or see me again.  On New Year’s Eve I made up a list of things I wanted to purge from my life for 2012, he was on the top of the list.  Strange thing was when I got home from my evening out; leaned over the kitchen sink with lighter in hand, light the paper but for some reason it didn’t burn all the way through.  The lighter had run out of fuel, so I quickly found another smaller one and proceeded to light the remaining un-burnt pieces.  Can anyone tell me why it was so hard to burn a few pieces paper?  Was it trying to tell me something?  It was like something on the piece of paper didn’t want to pass on from my life, but with patience I finally burnt all of it and then washed it down the sink. 

I did send him a text wishing him a Happy New Year and may all his dreams and wishes come true, but true to character he never replied back.  Some men just don't know how to remain friends with exes.   So now instead of wallowing in self pity, the cougar is made of stronger fabric than that, I start the endless parade of dating men from the current online dating site.

As I move towards finding the ‘one’ I will refer to each one with a number starting with N1.  Can anyone guess what number I’ll be up to when I do find the ‘one’?

It is Monday January 3^rd, a day I have off, N1 is meeting me outside the Museum of Man and Nature, a first date location for me that is new, but then to bring in the type of man one is looking for changes had to be made.  Since I have quit indulging in the spirits (alcohol) I have to find other innovated ways to see if someone is able to make me interested enough to pursue for another date. 

This gentleman states he is a successful professional who stays fit and active and maintains a very positive outlook on life. I He loves to travel and get off the beaten track whenever possible. He also states he can be quite adventurous and would like a partner to share things with and he cooks a bonus in a man.

So at the arranged time I meet him, not a bad looking man for an older person, 4 years older than me.  He pays and we enter the museum, wandering from exhibit to exhibit, talking a few times about the artifacts.  As we continue on, my pain between the shoulders is starting to make its self known, an injury left over from just before Christmas.  The conversation is light, but I’m finding that this really isn’t a good way to impress someone like me on a first meet.  The cougar is knowledgeable, but also craves excitement and going through a museum is not this fun loving woman’s cup of tea. 

We finally reach the end and he suggests going someplace for a glass of wine or coffee.  Well the wine is out, but I humour him all the while thinking I just want to head home as we make our way to a place close by that I’ve never been to but wanted to see the inside of, Sensi Wine Lounge.  All I can say is the powers that be are with me that day, the place is closed as is many places on this second day after New Years.  With that gift from above, I shake his hand and then give him a hug.   I always hug people when parting and he says he’ll call because we both work downtown, perhaps after work.  Note to self, don’t give out where you work in the future.

Tuesday January 3, 2011, enter N2, he is a late entry to the line up but after a telephone conversation with him on Sunday I want to meet to see if there is that ever elusive chemistry.  This date is simply for coffee or tea in my case at Tim Horton’s it’s early at 4:30 and I ensure I’m there about 10 minutes early.  As I’m picking out my apple cinnamon tea, there is a guy who came in paying for his coffee.  It’s him, he sent me his picture, so I approach him and we settle on a table by the window.

This guy states he is an active fun loving man who enjoys the outdoors, walking and going for dinner. He does enjoy sports watching and playing but walking is a passion of his and he loves to cook and BBQ. He enjoys all types of music except rap.

As we chat I feel that same comfortableness as I did on the phone with him.  He’s not a bad looking man, but don’t really know if I feel the chemistry there.  He talks about himself, his children and the fact that he is new to the dating site, me being the second one he has messaged.  He then allows me to talk about me, and I being me, tell him all about my life, including my recent breakup.  I’m honest if anything, he thinks I was drugged that night as well.  I guess everyone I talk to about that night of the breakup thinks I was drugged at the bar, now I know it’s the only reasoning.  He also ask if I’m still hung up on the past guy, he feels that it would not be in his interests to pursue if I’m still thinking of someone else.  I tell him I’ve purged him on New Year’s Eve, deep down I’m still thinking not, but perhaps this one can help me move on.

He states he finds me attractive, that we have lots in common and feels the elusive chemistry, and then adds he wants to take me to dinner Friday night, he wastes no time.  My feeling is that he is genuine and honest, so I quickly dismiss my usual Friday night out dancing with my gals and say yes.  To be continued......he calls me the next day stating could we go on Thursday instead as he forgot he was watching his grandson play hockey.  I tell him I have other plans but will let him know next week.

Thursday brings on N3 a skating date, but since the temperatures were way above the freezing point the skating canopy at the Forks was mush and roped off.  So my date suggested a walk along the river bank since it was a beautiful balmy winter evening.  Since he lived a little closer to The Forks and close to me, I offered to pick him up. 

During the ride to the forks we talk about where we grew up and I found out he grew up in the same area as me, although he was a little older, our paths never crossed.  He commented he like my GMC Jimmy he had one but wished he still had it.  We promptly found a parking spot and made our way down to the river to begin the walk.  Not far down the trail we stopped to look at what appeared to be ducks, but it was geese that had chose to stay behind, who knows why but it had seemed they missed their flight.  There was a young couple with their child taking a picture of them with their phone.  My date was a very talkative man and started talking to them about the geese and ducks being able to fly down to Minneapolis in a day.  He seemed to be a very knowledgeable man, and I was starting to become impressed.

As we walked he talked about his career in journalism and how he was writing a book.  Our walk took us up to the Legislative buildings where I did some talking about a water boat trip they offer at The Forks, guided with a man telling about the water levels of the two rivers during the 1950 to 1997 floods, and in particular my favourite about how the Golden Boy came to Winnipeg to sit atop the Legislative Building.  It was commissioned over in France just before World War I.  When it was finished and put onto the boat, the boat listed to one side due to the heaviness, so they had to break open and put it in the hull of the ship.  The ship started out for Canada but the war started and the ship was commissioned for the war.  When the war ended the ship was being dismantled when they found the Golden Boy in the bottom of it.  It was sent on its way to Canada and finally reached Winnipeg in time for the Legislative Buildings completion.

When our walk; which lasted about 40 minutes was completed we stopped to have coffee for him and tea for me.  He being a very talkative person and me the listener the subject now turned to online dating.  He said he had been on the site for about four years and I was only the fourth woman he had agreed to meet.  Then he went on to talk about his male friends mostly married didn’t want to do much but stay at home with their wives.  When they did venture out the wives would also call asking them where they were.  He said he was not good being around a woman’s friends, preferred not to, but didn’t have a problem with women being around men.  Then he asked me a question that made up my mind about him, he asked me “what does a man need a woman for”.  I was kind of thrown with that question, but decided it was better to left it unsaid.  I did retort back that when I went dancing my girlfriends I didn’t like to have a man around, because I don’t like to feel I have to babysit them.   After all it’s my night out with my gals.

Needless to say it was getting late, me being thankful for that, we were on our way with me dropping him off at his place, him saying something about getting together again, and me thinking no way in hell that would happen.  No wonder he has only had four dates, with a male macho attitude like that he can talk to the hand for the rest of his life, I want someone compatible who will share his life with me, not his friends.

So what does a cougar do on a Friday night, she heads to her favorite place, to dance the stress away.  While there I do my customary walk past the bar a few times, I like to see who is there sometimes when I’m not on the dance floor.  Each time I head past the bar, there are three guys at the end of it I sense trying to get my attention.  After the second time I sit down next to my girlfriend and she outright states, “You see that guy over there at the bar, the one with the leather jacket, well his eyes followed you not once but twice as you walked by all the way back here”.  I state “ hmmm really”, so being the femme fatale that I am, I decide to walk by again.

This time his friend catches my eye, I smile and his friend stops me to chat.  The object of my quest leans over and asks,” Was that you last week in a skirt”?  I laugh, feeling slightly flabbergasted as this guy is so good looking and tell him a prompt “yes”.  It was an opening I was looking for, and for the next three hours I stand there chatting to him, his brother and his friend.  At one point he asks me to dance and I’m very pleased as we head out on the dance floor and start dancing that he has rhythm.  Soon his friend is stating he will be leaving soon, I ask if he’s driving and he says he is, so I promptly grab and fill a glass full of water for him.  It was nice to be standing so close to the water for the evening because my glass was never empty. 

The most important topic of the evening centered on Arizona, the three of them might be down there at the same time as the Cougar. I ask his brother to dance to one of my favorite songs, and then I dance once more with him before the day has worn me in.  I tell him that I will be leaving for the night, he ask for my number but says he doesn’t have his phone on him, so I input his number and send him a text telling him he has mine now.  I give my customary hug and bid both brothers adios.

When I wake up in the morning, I see that he texted me in the wee hours asking if I was still up, since I was out later than normal, I wake up later than normal and send him a text back saying “I was up now lol”.  He texts back asking if I want to do something that day and I text back that I would like to go skating.  He use to play hockey when he was younger and this strange thought that lately I've met lots of jocks, I was never attracted to jocks growing up, and he still plays sometimes.  I’m thinking since I’m not a good skater he could teach me a few things and we could have a fun first date.  We decide on a time late afternoon and early evening.  This, by the way is N4, but he isn’t even on an online dating site a bonus.

I meet him Saturday at 4 pm on an outdoor rink in St Boniface.  Conversation is flowing so smoothly, my skating is wobbly at first, but with his hand I soon am skating not too bad around the rink.  I think I like this skating, it burns lots of calories and fun to boot.  But as everything, and my body telling me it’s time, skating ends after one hour.  We step inside and take off our skates and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.  It’s time for him to go watch his football game and I just want to go home and chill for the evening.  As we walk out to the car, we turn to each other and kiss, soft lingering kisses, he is a good kisser and I tell him so.  He asks what I’m doing on Sunday, I tell him lots, but I could make myself free for the evening.  He tells me he’ll call me.

I call my girlfriends and tell them about my date, I’m smiling; he is so good looking and younger than me I know that.  I decide and tell them, I’m not doing no pursing, if he wants to date me, he will have to do the pursuing.  I hide my profile on the online dating site, until I see where this will lead, there is still N2 who wants to take me to dinner, but I’m almost certain that nothing would evolve from it.  Although I’m still undecided, I know I have to make a decision early because N2 said he had a good feeling about us, I didn’t tell him, that I really didn’t feel the same.  Still I'm not one to keep a man hanging on if I"m not interested in him, but I do have to weigh my options very carefully to ensure I find the right one.

Sunday he texts and we decide to go skating again later in the evening, after his football game we meet at the same place only this time the club is closed and we don’t want to put our skates on outdoors.  I suggest a game of pool and get on my iPhone for a place close by, the decision is a place at The Forks so off we go.  When we arrive, both pool tables are taken and a small Christmas party must have been Ukrainian lol was going on as well as Karaoke.  We spend the next three hours chatting about everything under the sun, he is such an easy going personality and I find we have so much to talk about and in common.  The evening ends, I have to work in the morning he has the day off, we kiss goodbye at our vehicles and are on our way.

When I get home, I text him thanking him for another wonderful evening, he returns the text telling me he thought so too.  Meanwhile I have a text from N2 wanting to take me out for supper on Tuesday, I answer him that I’m not sure if I’m available but will let him know on Monday.

Monday I decide I'll meet him but only for light appetizer's to see if there is something that wants to make me see him again....song "Colder Weather" runs through my mind.

At about 8 pm I receive a text from N4 and we continue with the texting back and forth for about two hours.  He is a funny guy and the conversation seems to flow really good, could be a potential 'one', but the Cougar has been burnt, she does have a trust issue with men and their motives, so I'll just let this play out and see what happens, no expectations.  I think I'll just play the part of the Cougar, after all he is ten years younger than me, perhaps I should just be a Cougar and see where it will lead.

Tuesday rolls in and I decide not to meet N2, a trip to the chiropractor for the shoulder blades has me running really late and I ask for a rain check.  Instead I head over to a girlfriends to help her out with a competition and actually have a glass of wine.  It's gossip night at her place and I'm just enjoying the camaraderie.  My phone rings and it's N4, I'm surprised as I really expecting his call, we chat for a little while and he tells me he'll call me the next day.

stay tuned.....